but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
