Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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