Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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