but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i now understand why vodka
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