i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When are your genitals available?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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