I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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