She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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