I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
