Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
