I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
