walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
