I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
