Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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