Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
