life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
