i just had sex bonerless
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
