Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
