i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
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