We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
