Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Fuck appropriateness.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
