Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
