Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
