i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
