I seem to have left my pride at pride
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
