dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
