bring money and cleavage
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
