i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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