So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We need to rekindle our bromance
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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