you would pick up someone in the library
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
