Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
