i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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