WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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