It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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