No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He did a backflip because drugs
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