I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize