"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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