Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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