your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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