I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
