I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
