Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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