so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
