So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
honey bunches of taint.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
