i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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