I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
