I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
