I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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