and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
