just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
