your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So much rum. So many feels.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
